1. "Do you want a piece of my apricot?"
    She then proceeded to cut me a small sliver and called me an asshole, which is okay because I still got to enjoy the apricot and now I know that bad behavior is rewarded with fruit.
  2. "Can I kangaroo fight you?"
    There's a YouTube video. Look it up. And be afraid.
  3. "Will you go to the gynecologist with me?"
  4. "Will you wipe my tears?"
    In reference to the visit to the gynecologist.
  5. **knocks on door** "Are you awake?"
    😑 It was 7:30am
  6. "Can we please watch LOTR this weekend?"
    Three of us make a solid effort to watch the entire LOTR trilogy in a matter of days at least once a year. It both enlivens and darkens the soul. Proceed with caution.
  7. "Did anyone ever kill that cockroach?"
    Little bastard.
  8. "Oh shit did therapy kill you this week?"
    The irony of a therapist getting therapy. This could easily be its own list.