THINGS THAT ARE BASICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO EXPLAIN TO TODDLERS

  1. God
    "I see picture of God, Mama?" "Where God, Mama?" "No, Jesus not God! Jesus baby!" "Where heaven?"
  2. Days of the week
    "We go storytime today?" "What Saturday? We go storytime Saturday. Also football Saturday. Put football on tv." "What Wednesday for?" "We do it today Thursday!"
  3. Childbirth
    "Baby Leo in your belly?" "No, baby Ian not in your belly! I baby Ian! I big boy!" "Where dat baby in your belly go?"
  4. Geography
    "Where Gramma live?" "We in Florida too." "No, we not in Michigan!" "We go in airplane to grocery store?" "You go airport get Gramma."
  5. Outer space
    "Where da moon go?" "Where da sun go?" "What a planet for?" "No, mama, da sun not a star!"
  6. Weather
    "Where da snow go?" "What melting for?" "I no need gloves in snow!" "No, Mama, the sun not hot." "Rain, rain, go away..."
  7. Cooking
    "Mmm...yummy muffin! Hey, where my muffin mix go?!"