THINGS DOCTORS WILL SAY TO YOUR 17-YEAR-OLD OVER AND OVER IN THE ER TO SEE IF HE'S HAD A STROKE

(He's fine now/writing it all down kept me from spinning off the face of the earth)
  1. What's your name?
  2. What year is it?
  3. What month is it?
  4. What holiday is coming up?
  5. Who's the president?
  6. Close your eyes.
  7. Open your eyes.
  8. Smile and show me all your teeth.
  9. Does that feel the same on both sides, or different?
  10. Make a fist.
  11. Squeeze my hands.
  12. Squeeze harder. Harder.
  13. Can you feel me touching your leg?
  14. Does it feel normal, or different?
  15. Raise your eyebrows like you're surprised.
  16. Hold this arm up for ten seconds.
  17. Hold this leg up for ten seconds.
  18. Say "no ifs, ands, or buts."
  19. Say "tip-top."
  20. Press your feet against my hands.
  21. Don't let me push your arm down.