SO YOU THINK YOU WANT A PET 😺🐶

I love my cat SO MUCH. I adopted him as a tiny kitten in 2001. But these questions below Are things people should ask themselves before getting an animal. As always: adopt don't shop! For @fisackerly
  1. •
    Do you like snuggles?
    Easy to answer
  2. •
    What is your stance on barf?
    Every pet owner will tell you that there will come a time when you will find a pile of it somewhere in your house.
  3. •
    What would you do if you found a stray turd somewhere in your house?
    This has happened before. Cats get dingleberry problems.
  4. •
    How do you feel about picking up poop in general?
    For a cat you'll scoop it, for a dog you'll pick up warm turds with a bag, but either way you gotta be down with doody duty.
  5. •
    When you are upset, do you wish you had someone to listen and support you with no judgement?
    Pets will never say mean bullshit things to you and they will love you unconditionally. Even cats!
  6. •
    Do you have carpet?
    Cleaning it is a biiiiiiiitch when you have animals. They have accidents, hair, claws, barfs. Hardwood and tile forever.
  7. •
    How do you feel about pet hair in your food?
    I have not made a meal in 13 years that doesn't somehow, despite my very best efforts, have a piece of cat hair in it. I am clean! My kitchen is clean! HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN? I'm sure dog people have it too. Here is a pic of Sushi, my friend's pug. Pug hair gets errrrwhere. But look at her!
  8. •
    Do you like LOVE? Do you feel like your heart will explode at a cute furry face?
    Yes. You are an animal person! I MEAN how could you not love cuteness?
  9. •
    Do you talk to yourself?
    Yes? Good! Now you can talk to your pet and do voices. I once had a friend tell me that she didn't know what she and her husband would do if their cat ever died, but they use the "cat's voice" to mediate disputes. "Mr Sammy thinks someone forgot to do the dishes but would be forgiven if they took out the trash right now"
  10. •
    Do you like white furniture and clothes?
    Good luck with that one. Here is my friend StanLee, who is always messing up his mom's white couch.
  11. •
    Are you willing to pay $20 for fancy poop rocks?
    Your cat will poop in a box of rocks, in your house. The nicer the rocks are, the happier you will be.
  12. •
    Do you travel a lot or are you always at work?
    Be sure to budget petsitting, day care, extra fees to take them on the plane with you into your budget.
  13. •
    Do you have $100?
    This is essentially how much it costs me when I take my cat to the vet. Dogs are more expensive. And the vet will ALWAYS try to guilt you into some crazy teeth cleaning that costs $800. Always.
  14. •
    Do you entertain a lot?
    Sometimes animals do not like strangers and it makes a having dinner party a real problem. My cat hates loud people who talk with their hands, which is essentially most of my friends. (Here is Hew reading the New Yorker, he likes a lazy Sunday)
  15. •
    What does your future hold?
    If you adopt a pet, you are their forever home. Pets can live 20 years (some turtles and birds can live even longer). If you plan to move a lot or have a family or travel, make sure the pet you adopt can do this with you! (Pic of my mom and I with my first cat, circa '84)
  16. •
    Are you allergic? Is your partner? What if your future partner is?
    Do a test run and petsit for friends, or foster an animal to make sure you and/or your partner can deal with pets. Sometimes allergies can emerge later, and even hypoallergenic breeds have some dander. As a single cat or dog owning person, you have also have to understand you are narrowing the dating pool for yourself. Not liking dogs and cats/being allergic is a deal breaker for me! I'm totally okay with this.
  17. •
    How do you feel about someone sleeping in your bed (who is not human?)
    Either they will sleep with you or you will train and endeavor to keep them off your bed and furniture for the whole of their existence. I have many friends who have successfully crate-trained their dogs but I am a softie and I always let my cat sleep on the bed, and my boyfriend has to be okay with that.
  18. •
    This is Hewson. I love him with all my heart💖.
    He is named after Bono (Paul Hewson) because I was really into U2 in high school. He has traveled across the country with me countless times (car and plane), seen me through happiness, heart break, and all of Mad Men (he likes to snuggle and watch TV). He weighs 18lbs now, at his biggest he was 24lbs. He is THE BEST.