Reasons why puppies are less work than children.

  1. Potty duty
    You can just put a dog outside and hope for the best.. Put your kid outside.. Someone's calling CPS
  2. Feeding
    Puppies- toss them a bowl of food and a bowl of water and walk away.. Kids- make them some "nutritious" meal that you are practically coaching them to eat... They throw it on the ground... Puppy to the rescue..
  3. Sleeping
    Puppy will sleep on the bed, couch, floor, outside.. Pretty much anywhere.. Kids- will only sleep in a perfect, quiet, perfectly lit/dim magical place that they expect you to somehow concoct from the depths of your soul
  4. Questions
    Puppies don't have questions.. Just toss them a ball, a treat or rub their belly and YOU'RE THE BEST! Kids- half a million questions a day.. You give an unsatisfactory answer and all hell breaks loose.. You are suddenly "dumber than Billy and he's the dumbest kid in the class" well shit ok..
  5. Love
    Puppies love you constantly even when you look a mess and have gained 10lbs. Kids-"mom you look crazy" "mom has a faaatttt butt" tell them no... "Omg I hate youuuuu you're the worst mom ever"
  6. BUY A PUPPY AND CONDOMS