I DON'T GET IT
Things I legitimately do not understand: if anyone wants to help with these that'd be great.
- •Photos of men posing with fish on online dating sitesIs this some primal "me man, me catch food" shit?
- •KaleUsed to be a garnish, now it's a salad option. Viva la Romaine! Kale tastes like steaming garbage (don't ask, yes I know this to be true)
- •Why central air is so hard to come by in LAIt's warm here most of the year, can I get some AC? My cat is dying. I'm dying. Help
- •ThongsVoluntary wedgie, no thanks!
- •Hot YogaStuck in a hot room working out with a bunch of other humans: here comes the panic/heatstroke puke
- •The politics of employmentI love to work with really competent, passionate, diligent humans always, and it's a bonus if they're cool and we can grab a beer after work and have an intelligent conversation (or a dumb one-- I like those too). But half the time I end up working with, or for my boss's best friend's unqualified cousin (or some variant of family/friend of a guy who knows the guy at the head of the company).
- •SnapchatSeriously, I don't know how to use this. I've tried. I've accidentally sent "stories" out. I've sent videos of my under chin. This app scares and frustrates me. I feel like my grandmother, who has dementia, and thinks It's 1953: helpless and in the wrong time period.
- •People not bagging their own groceries at Trader Joe'sDo you know how much more quickly you could actually leave if you bagged your own groceries?! Do you?! Whole minutes! But instead you're standing there dicking around on your phone, which you could do from the comfort of home if you'd just bag your own cans of beans and frozen Mac and cheese balls. What is the appeal of instagramming and facebooking in trader joes?
- •The cashier at Trader Joe's thanking you if you bag your own groceriesLook, I get that most asshats don't do this, but I'm doing this for me! I'm doing this so I can get the fuck out of here. You don't need to thank me! I'm trying to leave. JUST LET ME GO!
- •Trader Joe'sSo many good deals, but the people shopping here are all zombies, and there are kids everywhere, and the lines are long, and godammit, no I don't want a kale chip sample! I AM TRAPPED IN A TRADER JOE'S PLEASE SEND HELP!