I'M BECOMING MY FATHER
I've accepted it.
- •There are way too many similarities at this point. I'm basically just the younger, female version of him... We both got that:
- •Wanderlust(His word, not mine) Pop moved from Dundee to Connecticut, I moved from Connecticut to California. He hopped around a bit all over the world along the way. I'm working on it.
- •Red wine > white wineHe likes a Cabernet Sauvignon, or Merlot, I'm more of a Red Zinfandel gal
- •Masters Degree in the bagHis is useful: an MBA, my MFA: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- •Love of peppermint pattiesHe eats one each night, I lack self control so it's anywhere between one and an entire bag
- •Intolerance of spicy foodWe both like it, but it doesn't like us. He warned me this day would come when I was a kid dumping Tabasco on everything on my plate. That day has come. And tums are my best friends, my tasty, calciumy friends.
- •Using the TV as a lullabyFalling asleep while watching tv was a speciality of my dad's. I'm pretty fucking good at it too.
- •Inability to express feelingsEver been compared to a robot? I have. So has my Dad. He has a stone face, which I think would be resting bitch face in today's lingo. Guess who's been told they have that? This gal.
- •Bartending background (bonus: we were both terrible at it)He actually only told me he was a bartender when he was in college after I started bartending. I was terrible because I hate everyone, and therefore would be pretty fucking rude with people plus I was a terrible mixologist: beer and wine, I could do, anything else: nope. He was bad because he would water down the liquor when people were on drinks 2 - whatever because he has always, and will always, be a penny pincher.
- •FrugalityI mean, he's Scottish, and an accountant. I'm bordering on being one of those extreme couponers (TLC - can I please be on an episode?!?!)
- •General dislike of peopleI've been told this is a family trait. My Dad's sister recently told me her father wouldn't even go to her wedding because he didn't like most of the guests, and she was totally fine with that! Guess what, Dad, you're off the goddamn hook if I ever walk down the aisle! You can thank me by not making me go to your retirement party. Thanks! Love ya, hate almost everyone else.
- •Terrible skinAcne for days. Still. At 29. Luckily, Dad told me I only have about 10 more years of this to deal with.
- •Kind of fucked up sense of humorDark, dry, sarcastic, sometimes a little mean: not sure if this is nature or nurture, but we're both plagued with it. Oh and we both find any fart/barf jokes funny because we're really 11 years old. 👯
- •Plus, I mean, come on:Thank god for makeup 💁🏻also he's 38 in this picture, I'm 28 so I hope I age as well (less the hair loss. And always: wrinkles > balding but I'd prefer to not age anymore, and thereby not have to deal with either of them)