1. After an interview there's no need to say, "We'll be in touch soon" unless you actually plan on getting in touch.
    This seems like a polite way out, but "thanks for coming in" is too, and doesn't imply that you'd like to/plan to work with the person. Or at the very least call them and tell them you're not going to hire them.
  2. Answer emails.
    Hey, you don't need to do it right away, but goddammit, if we've had an email chain going then I know you're getting these. You got them before, and you don't have an automatic vacation reply on so how about either responding appropriately to the email, or saying "hey I actually misspoke at the end of that interview and we don't have a place for you presently," or "you just don't fit in here," or "we actually filled that position," or just a ✌️. Anything. Something. Come on!
  3. Don't say "Let's be friends" when you/I/we decide we shouldn't see each other/date anymore.
    We'll say it and then neither of us will call/text/otherwise reach out to the other. Once we remove the sex, neither of us is really someone the other wants to keep company with. We have actual friends for that! Ones that we *probably* haven't seen naked.
  4. Don't invite someone to coffee/lunch/dinner/drinks and not set a date for the outing. "Let's get _________ sometime" is a boldface lie. You're never getting _________ with that person
    Sometimes you can just leave the space where you've bumped into an old coworker/roommate/friend/classmate by just saying "goodbye"
  5. If there is something in my teeth be a fucking decent human and tell me. And tell me right away. It's been three hours since I ate broccoli, how long has this green speck been there, and how long ago did you notice?!
    That momentary awkwardness is infinitely preferably to the seething rage that follows self discovery.
  6. It's okay to not like my friend/boyfriend/even my sibling, and it's okay to say so
    Be tactful when you say it, but you can say, "I'm not sure blah blah and I really got along" or "I'd prefer not to intrude on your time together" and if pushed then you can say, "okay, I'm not a big fan of blah blah" and if pushed for why then it's okay to say "because they said something that made me feel uncomfortable/awkward/anxious" and if pushed again for a why then you can be brutally honest, "because they're an asshole and your association with them is making me rethink our friendship"
  7. If you hate my cat keep it to your fucking self
    Just being honest