MAKING HAGGARD SHOES LOOK HAPPY AGAIN (REVAMP THAT SHIT FOR YOUR NEW JOB)

I haven't worked anywhere with a dress code in over 3 years, but I'm starting a job on Monday that has one. I have enough cardigans to compensate for what I lack in business clothing. Throw one on over a dress, boom: dress code met. BUT my business flats were looking shitty, and I'm too broke for new shoes so I came up with a quick (and cheap) fix.
  1. Pull out your old, shitty business flats that you haven't worn in years
  2. Examine the damage
  3. Cry a little
  4. Take a damp paper towel and wash the dust and dirt off of them
  5. Decide which craft store you're going to go to for supplies
    I choose based on a few factors: proximity, selection of products, and which has the best coupon (I always look up coupon codes before heading out) all come into play.
  6. Drive to that store
    Or walk. Or bike. Or take a bus. Just get there.
  7. Stare at the acrylic fabric paint
  8. Wander down another isle and see they actually have leather paint
  9. Spend a while staring at the colors trying to decide which to go with
  10. Decide to wander around to think a little
    Sometimes you need distance from something to really focus on it
  11. Get distracted by the yarn
  12. Remember you're not great at knitting
  13. Also you live in LA
  14. You will never need a scarf/sweater/mittens
  15. Buy your paint, a sponge brush and a standard brush
  16. Be stoked you only spent $6.68
  17. Get home, and have a little snack before you actually start this project
    These are so freakin' good.
  18. Shove newspaper into the shoes
  19. Put painter's tape around the sole/any area you don't want painted
  20. Put down a garbage bag and get some water, and a little dish for the paint ready
  21. *you probably should do this outside if you can. I live in an apartment building without an outdoor space so I'm high off of the fumes*
  22. Set up a fan or something if you are doing this indoors
  23. And open the windows
  24. Start painting your shoes
    Left one: unpainted. Right one: one coat
  25. Wait an hour then do another coat
    Left one: one coat. Right one: two coats
  26. Wait another hour then do a third coat
    Both shoes: 3 coats
  27. Get annoyed at how that pair looks and move onto another pair
  28. Do one coat on one shoe
  29. Already feel better about this pair
  30. Tell that red pair to fuck off. You're done with it.
  31. Do a total of two coats on the better pair
    Same process as with the red - an hour of drying between each coat
  32. Let them dry for a few hours after the final coat
    I just did 2 coats, but with a lighter color on dark shoes you might need 3, or 4
  33. Take all the paper out, and the painters tape off
  34. Admire a job well done
  35. Now you have one pair of dress code friendly shoes
  36. Be a little bit mad because now you also have hands that are covered in paint that won't come off no matter how many times you wash them
    Count is at 5
  37. Promise yourself that next time you'll invest in gloves
  38. Send that red pair straight to Hell