PRE-VACATION PAINS IN MY ASS

It's 5am, and I'm at LAX getting ready to hop on a plane to Portland. I'm tired and annoyed.
  1. I was called in to work yesterday on a show that wrapped months ago.
    My boss is a dummy and could've easily done the tasks himself, but he wanted moral support while emailing network execs. I swear to god, he dictated emails to me as he typed them. It was a complete waste of time, and if I wasn't going on vacation, and could use the extra cash I would've told him to fuck himself.
  2. My cat puked on the carpet
    Came home to rage-vomit. I pulled out the suitcase yesterday morning and kitty knows that means I'm abandoning her. Rage-puke piles greeted me at the door.
  3. My cat wouldn't sleep
    See above - lil miss doesn't like when I leave so she makes me miserable.
  4. I thought I heard a noise in the night.
    I'm a bad sleeper and I swear to god I heard someone at my window at 1am (I'm on the 3rd floor, but fuck off, it's totally plausible. People's places get broken into all the time. I live in LA. IT IS DANGEROUS)
  5. The ramp to the 5 was closed so I had to detour
    At. Fucking. 4am. FUCK OFF DoT, OR WHOEVER DOES THIS.
  6. I drove past the parking structure
    WHERE IS THE SIGN?! There should be a goddamn sign! Gaaaaahhhh
  7. Starbucks wasn't open and the line was still 30 deep
    I'd sooner drink backwashed coffee from a hobo's mouth than wait in that bullshit! Why aren't you open 24 hours?!?!?!?
  8. They're doing construction near my terminal
    It's 5 in the fucking morning!!!!! I need some fucking sleep!!!!!!! And I have a fucking hour before fucking boarding: STOP FUCKING SAWING!!!!! FFFUUUUCCCCCKKKKK
  9. THERE ARE NO FUCKING WATER FOUNTAINS AT THIS FUCKING AIRPORT
    💣😡💣