THANKS TO MY EX

Lessons from former boyfriend-types
  1. 1.
    With Number One I learned that I like having sex (it was my first time; I think everyone learned this with an early BF, or GF so it's not that special), and that you shouldn't necessarily date someone just because they compliment you and ask (you have to be picky otherwise you end up dating a human turd for years)
  2. 2.
    Number Two introduced me to Jack Johnson, and taught me you should take your keys back immediately after you have someone watch your cat when you're on vacation with your family, otherwise they might let themselves into your place before they break up with you and take back just enough so that you think your place has been broken into
  3. 3.
    Número Tres taught me how to keep it casual. He also taught me that saying "I love you" during sex is not sexy when you're supposed to be casually seeing each other (it's an instant orgasm killer and violation of the rules of the relationship). Also: casual doesn't really work long term. Oh, and guys into clubs are also probably into drugs.
  4. 4.
    Four taught me friends make good BFs. Domestic partnership can be fun: doing chores together is better than doing them solo. Cuddling is nice. Sex is best when in love. Not fighting doesn't mean that nothing is wrong. Shared beliefs/views/goals are important. Being supportive is about more than being present. The end doesn't have to be explosive.
  5. 5.
    Number Five introduced me to some cool restaurants and taught me how to make ice cream. He also reminded me to be picky (how could I forget?!). And that just because someone is of a certain age that doesn't mean they're emotionally (or otherwise) mature (it also doesn't mean they've had sex before... OOPS)