THE PERKS OF DUAL CITIZENSHIP

I haven't verified the accuracy of any of these, however, they are the reasons why I applied for dual citizenship
  1. It's amusing: having a Scottish dad is cool, but saying you're British and then proceeding to talk without a delightful accent: confusing as all hell. People's reactions are hilarious! It's a lot of: 😳😕😦
  2. It's a great escape: if I ever feel like it I can just hop on a plane, or boat and go to England, Scotland, Wales, or Northern Ireland, and the queen will basically give me a house, and let me live there forever.
  3. It's a conversation starter: if I'm bored with a conversation I can say, "I'm a British citizen" and immediately steer the conversation in a more interesting direction: namely about myself, and/or the UK both of which interest me more than flavored sparkling water. Fuck LaCroix.
  4. Love: everyone loves Europeans more than Americans. Suddenly everyone loves me, and if they don't, they will once they find out I'm European. And if they truly hate Europeans, well, look at that: I'm American!
  5. Free stuff: education, health care, whatever a Brit can get, I can get too! And a trip across the pond is cheaper than medical expenses in the good old USA. Boob job here I come!
  6. Acceptance: my father's family has finally acknowledged my existence after 28 years, and no longer refers to me as "the bastard yank"
  7. It's an ego boost: in Los Angeles I'm not much of a standout in the beauty department. Im short, brunette, a size 4 (which is considered obese), and I have glasses. But in Edinburgh I'm fucking hot: I have straight teeth, a foreign accent, and I'm a size 4 (which is considered slender without being sickly).
  8. There's no place like home: if I do move to the UK, and decide I hate it, or accidentally kill a member of the royal family, or knock down a castle, or have some other incident that forces me to leave, I can always click my heels together three times and come back to 'Murcia: the land of my birth, slushies, and hot dogs.