THINGS THAT HAVE ALMOST MADE MY EYES WATER AND THROAT TIGHT LATELY
I don't know a person who would call me sensitive, but lately a lot of things have been giving me a little lump in my throat, and water in my eyes. Is this crying? Is that what this is? I'm scared.
- •My commute2-ish hours each way. It's so tiring. It's so loooonnnnggggg.
- •This Thai Life Insurance commercial: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cZGghmwUcbQThis guy, I mean, come on. All the happy feels.
- •My boss telling me, "I don't know if I've said it, but we're really he pot to have you here. You're smart, and have a great attitude."I have not felt appreciated at all at my last few jobs. And not just because it was never verbalized. They were rough so this has been really amazing to hear.
- •A biting text from my sisterI told her I was looking into therapists because I really think everyone should talk out their shit with an unbiased party, and she said "it doesn't even affect you. You live 3000 miles away. You're not here" in reference to our home, I guess. And it made me sad because 1) I thought a sibling would get it & she didn't 2) it made me realize she's kind of a selfish person & I had a big hand in raising her and I feel like I fucked up 3) it made me feel guilty about the whole thing (and I shouldn't)
- •A really nice text from a friendHe told me, "I trust your opinion more than anyone else's." Love this guy, and as a person who has been accused of being opinionated this offered some kind of validation.
- •A Halloween card from my friendIt had a little ghost on it and on the inside said "I miss you!" And it made me miss her/appreciate her/feel all the feels.
- •Thinking about my career/job futureI'm turning 30 in less than a year and I'm not happy working in TV production: I'm a glorified office manager and don't get to do anything creative and I feel like my soul is dying.
- •My cat being sickI've had her for 17 years. It's my longest sanding relationship. I will not handle her passing well.
- •A coworker asking me "are you still with that guy?"I worked at the same event I'm currently working 5 years ago when I had just come to LA with my boyfriend, and though we were both struggling with jobs, a new place, not knowing anyone, we had each other. We broke up 2 years ago and even though it was mutual and for the best, it's still not something I want to talk about with most people, and it sure as shit isn't something I want to talk about with a woman I temping with.
- •A little old man sitting alone at jack in the box on HalloweenHe was sitting at a table eating, he had a walker, there were a bunch of asshole teens and adults in there getting drunk snacks. It just made me wonder: does he not have anyone? Does he just want human contact? Did he just want a snack and forget what day it was? Is this what happens to retired actors? Maybe he's perfectly content, I don't know, but it made me so sad.
- •Spilling my latteI'm basically crying over spilt milk?!?!?!?!? Is this menopause?
- •Kings of Leon's "Last Mile Home" https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq7XsHAOnqcI don't know why, probably because of the spilt latte.