THINGS THAT UPSET MY CAT

I know she's upset because she'll make a "death meow" (low, deep, like something you'd imagine coming from beelzebub), or hiss, or bite, and when she's really pissed, puke. Cats are assholes, mine is no exception.
  1. Birds
    They taunt her by flying past the window. When she was younger, before we came to LA, she used to go on a killing spree whenever the hell her blood thirst needed to be quenched. Now she's a prisoner, and she lets me know how unhappy that makes her every damn time a bird flutters by.
  2. Strangers/friends/family
    She hates all. God forbid they try to pet her, and hell awaits anyone who picks her up. This is my sister, pre-scratch (she wouldn't let me take a picture after)
  3. Not being fed when she wants to be fed
    There is dry food out for her at all times. But when the princess wants the good stuff, I better damn well give her it. Even if it is 7am.
  4. Not being given water from the faucet.
    Anytime she hears a faucet turn on she wants to drink from it. "Oh, you're washing your hands? This is where I drink from, step off!"
  5. Anyone touching her paws
    To be fair, some monster did declaw her, so maybe this is a little justifiable
  6. When I go away
    Doesn't matter if it's for a day for work, or for a week for a vacation: if someone is looking in on her they're going to have to clean up rage-vom, and if she's just alone the neighbors will hear about it: because she'll death-meow all damn night. "I hate you, but don't EVER leave me"
  7. Being moved
    Whether it's off of the bathroom rug so I can shower, off of a book so I can read, off of my computer so I can work, or off of a pillow so I can sleep she hates being moved. Once I found puke in my shoe after a particularly trying day of moving her around. I didn't even hear it coming, or see it 😒
  8. Anything that takes attention away from her
    Cats are basically toddlers with better coordination. If I'm doing anything, and she wants attention I'm going to be made to regret persevering/ignoring her. Hell hath no fury like a cat ignored.