Things I've said I wanted to do (but won't)

  1. Family Feud
    I'd kill this. I don't trust my family. You wouldn't either. Don't lie. Feud is life.
  2. Global Guts
    I was an out of shape fat kid growing up. That kid does not need to face the crag. Moving on
  3. Order that new vacuum
    It's great! It scrubs! It cleans! It works on hard wood and carpet! It's not that expensive! I don't really wanna wait for the delivery...I don't want to deal with recycling the box it comes in...I don't know what to do with the old vacuum...I'm probably not gonna vacuum that much....I'm probably gonna spend the money on alcohol...
  4. Eat that bell pepper
    I know it was ambitious but I was drunk and wanted to make an omelette. I woke up hungover at 2pm and ordered lunch. It's been a week. I'm gonna throw it out.
  5. Sneeze with my eyes open
    I know it's impossible but like I said before I'm an ambitious guy.
  6. Cancel cable
    Everything is on the Internet but it's easier to tune out that voice in my head saying, "You're gonna need health care soon" by blindly channel surfing.
  7. Make another one of these
    This was fun but I'm not sure yet.