MY SUNDAY ROUTINE

When I read the Sunday routine column in the NY Times, I like to imagine that they'd interview me about my Sunday routine....and that I'd be REAL REAL about my Sundays. This is the unglamorous, unedited Sunday of a real person!
  1. My children wake me up with their fighting around 7. This fight has resulted in a goose egg on the forehead of the 7 year old.
  2. Groggily, I put on my gym clothes. (I'd like to point out they are not from lululemon.) This will ensure that I get to the gym later, and it's efficient! No showering required for this getup.
  3. I make my children eggs. The eggs are not right, because my 4 year old has decided he won't eat scrambled anymore, just sunny side up. I tell him I'm not a short order cook. He screams.
  4. Oops, we are out of milk. The real urgency here is not that my kids won't get heir precious allotment of daily calcium, but that I won't have milk for my coffee. Off to the deli I go.
  5. I'm trying to drink my much needed coffee and the dog nudges me. I try to ignore her but she gets this really pathetic look on her face. So I take her out.
  6. Today, I've promised the kids a Christmas tree, so I spend the rest of the morning clearing out their crap to make room for a tree. Simultaneously, I prevent them from killing each other and I pack their bag for swimming.
  7. We head to swim lessons. My 4 year old is so proud of himself that he can jump in the deep end by himself, and he keeps shouting at me to watch him. Ok, this is kind of cute, and I'm proud of him. My 7 year old tries the butterfly, which is badass, and graduates to the highest swim level. Well done, boys!
  8. Then we go out for cheeseburgers. Ain't nothing wrong with that! (Note: I'm still in my gym clothes.)
  9. Then we go to Stew Leonard's to grocery shop and get a Christmas tree. My city kids call this "going to the country to get a tree." Note: Stew Leonard's is in Yonkers.
  10. Stew Leonard's is like this crazy demented funhouse full of food, and I can't figure out how it's organized so I just throw any and all types of food in the basket in hopes I'll be able to put together a meal from it all. Simultaneously, I am preventing my children from killing each other.
  11. We pick out a tree. They try to sell us a dried out brown tree. No thanks. I find a nice full green one. Not sure if it will fit in our tiny NYC apartment. Get it anyway.
  12. Drive home. Put on "party music" per request of 4 year old. The kids like "I can't Feel My Face." Ok, so do I.
  13. Put away groceries while husband manages to bring in Xmas tree. The tree fits in the apartment.
  14. Celebrate Chrismukkah. We light Hanukkah candles and then decorate the tree. Simultaneously, I make dinner (pork tenderloin in a soy sauce and red wine vinegar marinade, garlic sugar snap peas, and sushi rice).
  15. Get the kids ready for bed. I get them showered while simultaneously cleaning the kitchen and preventing them from killing each other.
  16. Lights out! Aaaahhh. Use the burst of energy one gets when one finally puts the kids to bed to mop the kitchen floor and fold laundry that's been sitting around for who knows how long. Do do while listening to Serial. Intrigued.
  17. Have a glass of wine and try to finish my book, H is for Hawk, but fall asleep. It is 9 pm. My gym clothes are still on.