Subject Lines of Emails My Dad Sent Me in the Last 20 Minutes
My dad's name is Frank. I like to call him Frankenstein. He is the man who raised me and I'm not dead so I appreciate that.
- •If your cat licks you you can go blindThe email is just quotes of some idiot who somehow let her cat lick her eye and she thought it was just pink eye and then she woke up blind in that eye. My only response was "what's your source?" There was no link or names. Just copy and pasted quotes. He replied "I think it was in one of the subject lines I sent you." Which I think gave me stomach cancer (see next subject line).
- •If your cat licks your eye you can go blindCame directly after the first and less specific email about poisonous cat tongues. He often sees his errors after sending them resends with corrections rather than taking the time to edit so I always have to decode them
- •Gingerale - a recipe that relieves chronic inflammationI don't have problems with chronic inflammation. These are his ailments that he likes to share. I replied with the recipe to my "weekly witches brew"
- •New Mantis tiller first job (only sold in Usa)I always get weird details I don't need to know about how he acquired these items because it's never "I went to the store and bought..." It's like this: "one of Marks friends goes to see his father in law a lot in the states...."
- •Tilled all dayEmail included a breakdown of the labor including time, expenses, and pictures of his new tiller and freshly tilled front lawn
- •Just in case you want to tryHe's always telling me about new over the counter sleeping pills he's trying. In this case it was a new kings you can only get in the Usa (he lives in Canada) so he asked his friend who was crossing the border to buy a sail boat to stop and grab him some. Today I never thought I'd be imaging a stranger crossing the border with a boat tied to his truck and my dads sleeping pills bouncing like a little maraca in the passenger seat.
- •Since you use "way too much salt"Granted I do use too much salt so this email made me feel guilt shame helplessness all at once. My heart rate shoots up easily....from all the salt. He included a picture of the bag of salt.