MY BEST LIFE ADVICE. LOL.

  1. A girl never has to guess if a boy likes them. There is nothing more obvious in the world. If you are questioning if he does, he doesn't. This law applies throughout life.
  2. Don't marry anyone that isn't crazy about you and dying to be your partner for life. I've seen it too many times...people convincing their partner it's time to marry. Bad news, baby.
  3. Teach your children to be a good friend. But don't forget to teach them to HAVE good friends.
  4. One word to define if someone is a true friend: Reciprocity. In any form: fun, trust, generosity, effort, defense of each other, comfort....If you don't get that from your friend, then you don't have yourself a good friend.
  5. Allowing your child to speak disrespectfully to you is disgusting. Period.
  6. Teach your son to be a gentleman.
  7. Teach your daughter to be a lady.
  8. Saying, "My pleasure" sounds so much nicer than "You're welcome".
  9. Save money and travel to another country. It costs the same as a beach resort. And it makes you a more interesting person. It does.
  10. Sentences never start with "Me".
  11. For gods sakes women, give your husbands bj's. It is such an easy way to make them unreasonably happy.
  12. Make your teenagers get a job. Even if they're busy with sports. And expect them to get good grades. Even if they're busy with sports.
  13. Tell the people that you love, that you love them. Often. Even if you're mad. My kids have screamed it at each other (if they're fighting) before leaving the house... and that still counts.
  14. Expensive potions for your face are bullshit. I wish there was a cure in a bottle! But there isn't.
  15. Organic is bullshit. Eat whole foods. Eat bright colored veggies and lean protein and whole grains and healthy fats. Drink water. But you can get them from any supermarket and you'll be fine. But if you wanted to eat disgusting crap everyday, you'd still probably live a pretty long life.
  16. Be the boss with your kids. Demand respect and their best effort and teach responsibility. What you say goes. But be open and honest with them about kid/teen things..no walls. Talk about everything and let them know you remember what it was like at their age. Let them know they can tell you anything at all...nothing will shock you.
  17. Cooking for your family and eating dinner together matters. Just do it. Even once a week. Just make it happen.
  18. Say sorry when you fuck up.