I GOT A NEW SWEATER

My wonderful secret pal from church gave me a lovely sweater for Christmas. And then the following happened:
  1. I put the sweater on.
  2. I went into the kitchen to heat up my leftover ravioli from Olive Garden.
  3. I sat down, took my first bite, and didn't drop anything on my sweater.
    Victory!
  4. I then tried to rest my fork on my plate.
    Uh-oh
  5. And it promptly landed on my sweater.
    Immediate emergency laundry care ensues. This is red pasta sauce I'm dealing with.
  6. Now it's time for me to leave.
    There is still a wet spot on my sweater.
  7. So I grab my purse.
    Uh-oh
  8. And the silly little metal brand tag on the front of my purse snags my sweater.
  9. If there has ever been a time for me to use the phrase, "this is why we can't have nice things", it is now.