wow it's kinda passive aggressive that list requests are made in all caps
  1. HAVE LOFTY AMBITIONS. YOURE GONNA CHANGE THE WORLD I CAN FEEL IT.
  2. FAIL MISERABLY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR SHORT, STUPID, AND PITIABLY SHELTERED LIFE
  3. WANDER. WALKABOUT OR SOMETHING
  4. GAIN A THICK SHEEN OF IRONIC DETACHMENT
    This is crucial for falling in love
  5. GET RLY DRUNK AND ACCIDENTALLY GO TO A COURT HOUSE AND GET MARRIED
    oops
  6. HAVE A KID IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO FIND MEANING IN A COLD AND EMPTY UNIVERSE
  7. GET ALZHEIMERS AND FORGET EVERYONE YOU LOVE
  8. DIE