10 REASONS WHY I'M THE #1 USER ON THE LIST APP

  1. 1.
    I'm legally Paula Deen
  2. 2.
    Extremely taut skin
    It's unattractive.
  3. 3.
    I invented the dog
  4. 4.
    I used to pray for times like this, to rhyme like this
  5. 5.
    For 20$ I'll relay to you the lurid details of my and Martin Sheen's New Year's Eve at Golden Corral
    $15 for girls
  6. 6.
    Mystery reason!!
  7. 7.
    Better ingredients, better pizza.
  8. 8.
    I'm good