Misconceptions I Had As An Insufferably Naive Child

  1. Kissing the bride at the wedding was the defining physical act that got her pregnant
  2. Eating a spoonful of Mayonnaise instantly put your body at risk of a heart attack until you digested it
  3. Everyone could read music and had perfect pitch
  4. "Solving world peace" was the search for a literal physical puzzle piece of the Earth that was apparently missing
  5. A blind date was a date where both people were blindfolded
  6. "You're fired" meant....*puts lighter to oil-soaked business outfit* We've enjoyed working with you, Steven. Ta-ta now! *Disconcerting grin* *clicks lighter* AAHHHHHHHHH