Inspired by @p 's "A dog owner's list of demands" A dog owner's list of demands
  1. Less hair everywhere.
    (Same as dogs.)
  2. Clean clothes staying clean.
    (Same as dogs.)
  3. If you ignore the actual cat toys, and instead must play with my human possessions, please choose something cheap/replaceable/plentiful.
    Fine, you can have my used ponytail holders, but no necklaces.
  4. One day (not now, when I need you to burn off that nocturnal energy) maybe understand that you can never actually catch the red dot.