My qualifications to choose are my lifelong subscription to The Washington Post, and my middle school career test which said I should be a cartoonist.
  1. Judge Parker
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    I'm definitely not interested! (It's impossible to follow anyway.)
  2. Mark Trail
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    I only looked half as entertained as this bug the time Mark got attacked by a Canadian goose.
  3. Doonesbury
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    Political discussions in the comics as the funnies thin each year, but we moved Dilbert to the business page?!
  4. Family Circus
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    Unless to give it an inappropriate caption, which is quite fun. Garfield isn't on here because Garfield Minus Garfield (a strip that removes all characters except Jon having an insane, sad life by himself) is such genius it outweighed the original. Also Garfield was funny to me as a kid... none of these others ever have been.
  5. Lio
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    I had to look up the name. Almost every day is just this unpleasant scamp in an unsettling "ta-da!" pose with aliens or a monster or some other creature.
  6. For Better or for Worse
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    Or, for boring or for worst. (Got 'em.)
  7. Marmaduke
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    It's painfully unfunny.
  8. Beetle Bailey
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    Speaking of pain, I'd say 1/2 of all Beetle Bailey strips end up with a (literal) punchline of this guy gettin' his butt kicked. Creative!
  9. Blondie
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    The only thing worse than an old strip hanging on past the sell-by date is that strip trying to stay current, and all the references are out of place and come from your grandmother's knowledge of contemporary topics.
  10. Frazz
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    I had to look up the name. It's the one In which all the kids make sorta witty observations after school to the young, educated janitor. The concept is weird / not weird enough, and the art and jokes unmemorable.
  11. Tank McNamara
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    Doonesbury, but for sports!!
  12. Broomhilda
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    Worse than mediocre.
  13. Agnes
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    Had to look up the name. When the drawings are crap, at least have witty dialogue be truly witty. The main girl is such a scribble I can't attach any character traits to her except annoyance.
  14. Beakman and Jax
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    Science stuffed in the corner, with two perpetually creepy 80s cartoon heads and fake letters no child wrote.
  15. NOTE FROM THE LISTER: I don't want this to come across that I hate on the art form or don't appreciate the demand of coming out with a daily comic drawing and humor. I admire so many cartoonists.
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    One reason that I have this list is because there are so many great web comics I think could be amazing syndicated and instead we pay for copies of the crappy strips seen above. I will make a list of all my favorite comic strips / web comics soon.