The Pokémon Christmas Album Songs, Ranked

  1. 11.
    I've ruined your life with my awful Christmas tradition. You're welcome.
  2. 10.
    I Keep My Home In My Heart
    Okay, Brock and Misty, if you miss Pewter and Cerulean Cities, you can go home for the holiday. I don't think Pokémon trainers need to request vacation days. Unnecessary angst.
  3. 9.
    Under the Mistletoe
    Misty making desperate sexual advances after Ash makes her so dumb. I would've jammed out if it were Brock with Nurse Joy and/or Officer Jenny.
  4. 8.
    I'm Giving Santa A Pikachu This Christmas
    Professor Oak can't sustain my interest in this one idea for 3 minutes.
  5. 7.
    Winter Is The Coolest Time of Year
    The layering of Misty's voice twice, like she's dueting with herself, is super weird. Points for terrible puns in the interlude.
  6. 6.
    The Christmas Song
    Jesse and James, by slowly speak-singing this classic it reeeeally sounds like you're about to bone.
  7. 5.
    Nobody Don't Like Christmas
    Meowth's double negative is confusing, not to mention conceptually incorrect. He does have a vaudeville charm to him, though.
  8. 4.
    Must Be Santa
    One of my favorite lame Christmas songs via Raffi's cassette.
  9. 3.
    The Night Before Christmas
    Okay, the dialogue in between is crap, but I'm a sucker for substituting Pokémon names into classic songs.
  10. 2.
    Christmas Medley
    Parodies of a bunch of (formerly) classic holiday songs, all turned into groan-worthy Pokémon jokes. Amazing.
  11. 1.
    Pokémon Christmas Bash
    The Pokedex can rap!!! Starting the album strong with an original song where Misty cannot put the emphasis on the right syllable. A delight.