Things My Brother Says Are Wack
"These are some hot takes. This is an A+ list."
- •Hockey"My beef with hockey is you're squinting and turning your fucking neck the whole game like a prairie dog."
- •Color contact lenses"Just lie about the color of your eyes like everyone else." (Me: "...What?")
- •Suspenders"Don't bring your shoulders into the wearing pants equation."
- •People who make lists with less than five points"Fuckin' finish what you start!"
- •Lizards"Just in general."