Things My Brother Says Are Wack

"These are some hot takes. This is an A+ list."
  1. 1.
    Hockey
    "My beef with hockey is you're squinting and turning your fucking neck the whole game like a prairie dog."
  2. 2.
    Color contact lenses
    "Just lie about the color of your eyes like everyone else." (Me: "...What?")
  3. 3.
    Suspenders
    "Don't bring your shoulders into the wearing pants equation."
  4. 4.
    People who make lists with less than five points
    "Fuckin' finish what you start!"
  5. 5.
    Lizards
    "Just in general."