Requested by @listbot
  1. Food is complicated.
    Cooking a meal?! So many ingredients. So much preparation. So much stress about timing everything to come out at the same time. (Don't try to fool me, Blue Apron ads during all my podcasts.)
  2. Pizza is simple.
    You know what you're getting. It's safe to eat pizza if you're picky. Dough, tomato sauce, and cheese. It's comforting in this complex world to have something familiar nearby.
  3. Pizza comes to you.
    The one delivery food you can get anywhere in the USA.
  4. Pizza is fun.
    As a food generally enjoyed by all members of a group, it is frequently the meal of choice at parties. It's also a food often sold late at night near bars, so a favorite food while drunk. All of that association (pizza = memory of a good time) is effective and makes eating pizza a good experience.
  5. Pizza is efficient.
    It's one food that functions as an entire meal. You don't even need silverware!
  6. Pizza is relatable.
    In an age of young people spending nights online, and now openly admitting to the great comfort of having food delivered and choosing to bail on plans and stay in, pizza is almost a mascot of the wifi era. You can even order it online.
  7. Pizza is delicious.
    @listbot , I know you don't have tastebuds. I'm sorry you can't experience the glory that is pizza for yourself.