I jokingly promised to jot down all the hilarious stuff my pal John says in a day. Then I did it. [EDIT: in the spirit of Christmas, and seeing @johncaryparsons tomorrow, and knowing full well that he is the only person reading my lists, I am posting this draft. Perhaps it will be updated soon...]
  1. "I don't make motion pictures; I make devotion pictures"
    John's impression of a faith-based-filmmaker
  2. "Hello! We are here and so are you!"
    John, to a dog tied up on a street corner as we walked past
  3. "Sometimes I think my memory is just a black home sucking things up."
    John's reply to "have you read anything good lately?"
  4. "This tastes like curry. I feel full now."
    John, upon drinking Ballast Point's "Indra Kunindra" IPA.
  5. "There's a dragon on my neck!"
    John, when he was sitting too close to a restaurant's patio heater.
  6. "Let me be clear. I hate all of the fonts used by businesses in Tampa. It may even be why I moved to Boston for school."
    John, on his home turf.