EMBELLISHED JOB TITLES ON MY RESUME
- •Literature Representative for the IncarceratedI patched people through to their criminal family member to find out what porn they wanted to order.
- •Canine Transportation AdvocateDog walker.
- •Asiatic Cuisine ConsultantI worked at a Chinese restaurant that also served Indonesian food.
- •Evening Fermentation SpecialistI drank a lot of wine on the job.
- •Deescalation RepresentativeTalking Comcast customers off a ledge for eight hours a day.
- •Captain of Botany RemovalMowing lawns.
- •Carbohydrate Transportation ExecutiveThat one summer I worked at Domino's.