STUFF I GET WORKED UP ABOUT MORE THAN I SHOULD

  1. Your phone didn't die because "Mercury is in retrograde." Knock that shit off.
  2. Why is "Caden" suddenly a popular name for a boy? And Braden and Jayden and Clayden and other weird derivatives.
  3. Tell me about the symbolism behind the star tattoos you took two seconds to think about.
  4. Cam Newton is in a fucking yogurt commercial.
  5. I don't force my view of non-religion on you, so don't force your view of religion on me.
  6. "Uptown Funk" never really did it for me.
  7. The Foo Fighters have been around for forever and I can only name two of their songs. Wtf.
  8. Minions.
  9. WHY IS EVERYONE IN THE MOVIE WATER WORLD DIRTY. YOU'RE IN A WORLD ENTIRELY COMPOSED OF WATER GODDAMNIT