THE 12 STEPS IN MY OWN WORDS

  1. 1.
    I will admit I was an asshole and I need help.
  2. 2.
    I will realize I could free myself from assholism on my own.
  3. 3.
    I will trust that there is a positive force out there that is larger than my asshole self.
  4. 4.
    I will analyze my asshole behavior from my drinking days.
  5. 5.
    I will discuss these asshole behaviors with a trusted friend.
  6. 6.
    I became open to changing these asshole patterns of behavior and to be a better person.
  7. 7.
    I will work on my asshole behavior and defects each day under the care of greater forces.
  8. 8.
    I will make a list of people with whom I have fucked, and became willing to restore balance with said people.
  9. 9.
    I will make direct amends with the people to which I've been an asshole, but not if it will cause further fuckery.
  10. 10.
    I will take note daily of when I can improve myself, if I've been an asshole, and make strides to not be an asshole in the future.
  11. 11.
    I will seek a better mind set through contact with the greater forces around me.
  12. 12.
    I will spread the message of this program to other assholes, and practice these ideas all areas of life.