THINGS I'VE SAID ALOUD IN THE LAST 24 HOURS

  1. "I am no longer at the point where I crave alcohol."
  2. "You're the lump with no feet! Where are your feet?"
  3. "What are you, a scientist? Gonna go calibrate some experiments?"
  4. "FITZMAGIC IS ABOUT TO GO OFF."
  5. "He looks like a less expensive Keanu Reeves."
  6. "I got a sobriety duck."
  7. "I had an apple with peanut butter, a lot of cheese, and a Snickers. Does that count?"
  8. "Of course it's raining. OF COURSE."