WHAT TO DO IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY

  1. POST IT ON FACEBOOK. Fuck safety, let everyone you know you are experiencing danger in real time.
  2. HASHTAG IT. #lomaprietabitches
  3. CALL CNN. They love that shit, especially if the main focus of the emergency went missing.
  4. RUN! It's an earthquake and you can't get away, but run as fast as you can and then fall before barely escaping.
  5. PRAY. Or scream.
  6. IF YOU'RE A WOMAN, CRY. This is the end, and the bff you're clinging to knows it, too.
  7. EMOJI IT. 🗻🌋⛰
  8. DEVELOP AN IRRATIONAL FEAR. As we all know, submarines are encountered fairly frequently.