The method to the madness of boarding flights

Is there a method? Or is it just madness?
  1. Why do we keep boarding flights in groups that delay the process that much more?
    Wouldn't it be faster if all window seats boarded first, followed by the much hated middle child, and you finish up with aisle seats?
  2. If I already paid money for the airline to take my suitcase from point A to B, why do I still have to wait for those that decided to bring a carry-on that is way too big for the overhead bins?
    Last I checked, this is a capitalist economy — sorry, Bernie.
  3. Let's say we can never get rid of carry-ons. Fine.
    Is it too much to ask to have people with carry-ons board first, but be seated at the very back of the plane? That way, people without carry-ons exit the plane so much faster while others retrieve their suitcase.
  4. I don't fly enough to make this my life's mission, but I'm sure there's someone out there that can make flying better.
  5. Disclaimer: this list has been written while waiting for my plane to take off, after a 2-hour delay.