THINGS THAT MAKE ME ANXIOUS
- •Sharp objects near my bed when I go to sleepI can't keep nail scissors in reach because I watched a 20/20 special in high school where a guy claimed he murdered his wife while sleepwalking, and now I'm convinced I, too, may be a killer somnambulist.
- •Kids on top of parents shouldersDon't you think it looks precarious?
- •The thought of my mom drivingShe is the worst driver in the world, and I must live with the fact that she drives to work 5 days a week. It's goddamn torture. Once she drove the car into the closed garage door.
- •Curb Your EnthusiasmBut I love it anyway!
- •Being late
- •The possibility of making a terrible irrevocable mistake that will adversely affect the rest of my lifeAnd make me a social pariah