THINGS THAT MAKE ME ANXIOUS

  1. Sharp objects near my bed when I go to sleep
    I can't keep nail scissors in reach because I watched a 20/20 special in high school where a guy claimed he murdered his wife while sleepwalking, and now I'm convinced I, too, may be a killer somnambulist.
  2. Kids on top of parents shoulders
    Don't you think it looks precarious?
  3. The thought of my mom driving
    She is the worst driver in the world, and I must live with the fact that she drives to work 5 days a week. It's goddamn torture. Once she drove the car into the closed garage door.
  4. Curb Your Enthusiasm
    But I love it anyway!
  5. Being late
  6. The possibility of making a terrible irrevocable mistake that will adversely affect the rest of my life
    And make me a social pariah