THE PREVIOUS 47 MINUTES OF MY LIFE

  1. Purchased $121.38 worth of office supplies
  2. Discovered that Walgreens has a newfangled hand basket on wheels
  3. Almost smashed hand basket on wheels into a guy
  4. Heard nice tribute on NPR about the late Melissa Mathieson
  5. Went into the grocery store on some free holiday food day/get trampled by sister wives with hoards of kids in tow day
  6. Took the last bit of chili even though the dude next to me was eyeing it
  7. Engaged in small talk with someone who doesn't quite know how she knows me
  8. Fisted food so fast into my mouth that I will likely pass out and sleep fart. A lot.