Exotic Animals I Would Like to Own

In no particular order
  1. A lion, but I will accept a pride if there's one going spare. Please note: re-enactments of the Lion King will be held daily. But without the sad Mufasa dying bit.
  2. A giraffe, because I can't reach anything on shelves designed for adults who don't carry stilts with them at all times.
  3. A hippopotamus. I think they have a bad rap and I could change that. Or die, but let's hope for the former.
  4. Some zebras in order to accomplish my lifelong goal of becoming the female, white Kanye West.
  5. I would employ a kangaroo as my full time body guard. You wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of a kangaroo.
  6. Elephants, because I think cars are overrated, and being cuddled by an elephant trunk looks like fun. I just want someone to love me.
  7. I would like some penguin butlers.
  8. Flying monkeys. Someone can do some Jekyll and Hyde shit and make this happen.
  9. Who hasn't seen a Coca-Cola advert and really wanted a polar bear? You're lying if you say you haven't. I would have thirty and they would live in my bathroom.
  10. You know what, I'll just take that Ark off your hands Noah, thanks.