#notallmen of course, God forbid, but the ones I date anyway
  1. Last night at 10pm my ex, whom I have not spoken to in months, texted me "hey". Just "hey".
    FYI the unwritten rule of textiquette (text etiquette) is that no one ever wants to have the convo that goes "hey/hey/what's up/nm hbu," which is why all savvy texters include in their text, or in an immediate follow up text, the purpose of their electronic intrusion. Why would someone I never even speak to (someone who sucks, tbh) think it was cool to just send me a "hey". The mind boggles.
  2. This afternoon, I was added on snapchat by a dude I went on one, not even great tinder date with A MONTH AGO who had not contacted me at all post-date before today.
    Sure, we made out for half a minute, but I'm inclined to think that if you'd wanted to see my face again you would have texted me, not waited a month and added me on snapchat. And for the record, I do not want to see your face again. You walked like a caveman, made way too much eye contact and played devil's advocate for Trump fans in a way that was both condescending and eerily well-rehearsed.
  3. A hookup from my semester abroad in Mexico messaged me "que haces despierta" at 1:30am
    What am I doing awake at 1:30 in the morning? None of your business. I think we both know we're never going to see each other again.
  4. Why does this shit come in waves? For three weeks no guy will even look at me, then all of a sudden losers come out of the woodwork to remind me I hooked up with them and basically bum me out.
  5. I sincerely hope I don't give off a vibe that there's so little going on in my life I'll happily entertain men when they're bored, even if they treated me like an Adobe software update they're never going to want to install.
  6. It's true that I wasn't always good at letting frustrating people float out of my life, but I've gotten a lot better.