REASONS I'M READY TO MOVE OUT OF THIS DAMN APARTMENT AFTER GRADUATION

Why anyone would want to stay in college forever is totally lost on me.
  1. The fact that the window in my bedroom looks out onto the hallway and not the actual outdoors
  2. The maintenance guy who whistles really loud and has his walkie talkie volume all the way up who I hear every single morning
  3. The issue that everything is always breaking so we have to keep calling this extremely loud maintenance guy to come whistle in our apartment while he kinda fixes stuff
  4. The annoying whoops and yells of drunk college kids between midnight and 4am, Wednesday-Sunday and the occasional Tuesday
  5. The empty beer cans and broken glass left around the apartment building by those drunk college kids
  6. The stain on my carpet from spilled tomato soup that I can't really get out but also don't want to look at anymore
  7. The first-floor balcony I always thought might be good for something that turned out to be good for literally nothing except being able to step outside and see how cold it feels in the morning so you know whether or not you need a jacket
  8. The soundscapes of my upstairs neighbor, which range from walking in high heels at all hours of the day to nailing things into the floor (I assume) and lots of muffled bickering
  9. The stoners in #101 who got an adorable tiny puppy and refuse to train it to wait until it gets out of the building to do its business so our hallway is always a puppy pee obstacle course. They don't deserve that puppy