SHIT MY DAD SAYS—GRADUATION EDITION

He's only been here for four hours guys, and we've got three days to go. Stay tuned for updates.
  1. On me having accommodations for absences:
    "Your professor gave you full points for participation even though you were absent a lot? Why? Does he think you're retarded? You know, you're not retarded."
  2. On half the third floor of the library being dedicated to East Asian studies:
    "I had no idea you had that many kids here who spoke Chinese." Me: "we have a lot of international students, from lots of countries." Dad: "Yeah I know but I just can't get over how much Chinese stuff is here. Chinese and Korean. Wow. I had no idea there were so many Asians here."
  3. On the menu at a great Mexican restaurant:
    "What are "no-pales"??" Waitress: "That's cactus." Dad: "Haha! Yikes. Not a chance. I'll have the soup."