Best Things I've Told My Super Gullible Boyfriend

In order of how proud of them I am:
  1. 1.
    The British pronounce the silent-K
    I grew up in in the UK, and my boyfriend very much did not. I called it the "semi-silent K" and added some pretty impressive linguistic jargon to explain why is was the right way to pronounce it. He walked around saying "I k-no" and "I need a k-nayf" for a week. I gave up when he very innocently said: "we've been here a week and I haven't heard anyone else pronounce the word 'know' properly". After a fit of laughing hysterically. Obviously.
  2. 2.
    Isis organise Islamic Art tours around the National Gallery in London
    Isis is also (among many other less infamous reasons) the name of the river running through Oxford, and many tour guides in the area are named after it. We were sitting on the steps of the Gallery and there was a group of people being shepherded in wearing red ISIS T-shirts. It got the best reaction by far (white-as-a-sheet and insisting we leave, immediately) but it's not first on the list as it wasn't particularly ingenious.
  3. 3.
    I've put Marmite in every meal I have ever made him
    He really hates Marmite. Really really. He cooks for us all the time now.
  4. 4.
    That if you get a First Class at university, the Queen presents you your degree certificate
    I was running out of ways to convince him to do his Masters in London
  5. 5.
    That I taught our dog to whistle
    I then recorded him trying to get her to do it again. Priceless.