Things I think while getting a pedicure...

  1. Yay wine at 11am!
    Oh its boxed? No thanks, I'm not in college anymore. I'll have a diet coke
  2. Ugh all these colors look the same
    If you don't leave the sticker on, how do I know the witty name? That's like 85% of my decision making process.... TODAYS COLOR: Essie Big Spender
  3. I love overhearing other peoples conversations....
    The lady to the right of me just asked to have her chin waxed and the lady to the right of me is nit picking and directing her appointment
  4. Ugh. I should have gone to the ladies room before we started....
  5. DO NOT PICK UP MY PURSE AND MOVE IT AROUND.
    You have chemicals on your hands I do NOT want all over my Kate Spade.
  6. "You have bad callus, you need deluxe pedi"
    NO SHIT. I work on my feet and am required by a dress code to wear cute flats. OH SHIT. She just brought out the heavy duty grater. She's seriously into this.
  7. When I ask you to cut my toenails shorter, please just do it.
    I like them as short as possible. They're not fingernails or talons.
  8. What do you put in the water to make it bright green?
    This can't be healthy. Yay fumes!!
  9. The water, towels, stones, etc can NEVER be too hot.
    This is probably why my skin is dry. I love hot showers and baths.
  10. Ahh, I'm ready for a nap!
  11. Hells yes I want you to paint intricate flowers on my big toes that only my boyfriend gets to see!!
  12. SHIT.
    These pants are REALLY tight all scrunched up above my chubby calves. I have no one to blame but myself.