How did I get here?

  1. My last year of college
    I started having thoughts like, where will I meet people once I've graduated? I had dated (slept with) just a few guys and I was worried I was never going to have a serious relationship.
  2. I met Brian
    on the day I took my very last final of my very last class. He was a bouncer at a bar I had been going to weekly with friends to see a performer. He asked me out that night.
  3. I had a guy friend in college
    who didn't have much luck with the ladies. He was just a little bit awkward sometimes. Girls didn't give him much of a chance, but I knew once someone got to know him, they would see past the awkwardness (appearance and behavior) and see him for the great guy he was.
  4. I applied
    that same thought process to Brian. No, he wasn't a 10 (but neither was I). Yeah, he was overweight (so was I). He was a little bit awkward sometimes. But I looked past all that a saw that he was a good, kind person and that he'd make an excellent dad.
  5. So we got married.
  6. I encouraged him to go back to school
    (he had dropped out of college) to finish his degree. He wanted to be a nuclear engineer. He quit his (crappy) job to attend school full time. I supported both of us (with my crappy job). We were so poor that year! But even with us both working our crappy jobs full time, there was no way we could afford to have kids. If he finished this degree, we could have kids and I would probably be able to stay home with them! Something I'd always wanted.
  7. It all worked out...a little too well!
    In August of that year, Brian graduated with a BS in Nuclear Engineering. A couple weeks later, he started his new job. We had to move out of state for the job, so we bought our first house. Oh yeah, I was pregnant, and our first baby was born that month, too! When we left the hospital with him, we literally put him in the car and drove 2 hours to our new house, filled with boxes that the movers had delivered while I was in the hospital!
  8. I quit my (crappy) job
    Brian's starting salary was more than our previous combined income, and with a newborn, it made sense for me to stay home.
  9. Small town life
    Now, you may not know this, but there's not a ton of nuclear power plants around, and they don't tend to put them in big cities. Our new home, while technically a city, is quite a bit smaller than any place I had ever lived. It takes me 40 minutes to drive to Target, people. C'mon!
  10. Away from family
    Brian's and my parents live about 45 minutes away from each other, but it's at least two hours from where we live now. All of my friends (Brian doesn't really keep in touch with anyone; it was actually quite a feat to find him some groomsmen for our wedding) were still back in our home state.
  11. Not lonely yet
    After settling in and adjusting a little bit, I started making friends. It's actually pretty easy to do when your only child is not yet in school and you don't work outside the home. I joined a couple of mom's groups. Every day is a potential play date day.
  12. Almost 4 years later
    Baby number 2 came along. I still didn't know what I "wanted to do when I grew up" other than be a mommy. So I never really thought about returning to work. I had friends, I had a semi-routine down, I was much more relaxed this time around and this baby was just plain easier. Life was pretty good.
  13. Now
    My last baby (#2) just turned 5. She had her preschool graduation ceremony last week and she's going to kindergarten in the fall. My oldest kid will be 9 in the fall and starting 3rd grade.
  14. I called my doctor today
    I have an appointment Monday to discuss antidepressants.