1. Numb
    Mostly writing this to try to feel so it's doesn't all come out at once in an explosion of emotion
  2. Terrified
    I do not have a real job lined up. This is the first big life transition I've made without a clear "have to" plan. Scared I'm going to just automatically fall in line with the plan I've had since I was 7. Shouldn't I try to be spontaneous?
  3. Lonely
    For one of the first times in my life I'm single and actually want to not be. But starting something while I don't have a clear plan for everything else seems like a bad call that will lead me to making life decisions based on a person that isn't me. Platonically all my friends are scattering and I don't know when I'll see them again. That's scary. I don't want to lose all those smiles and laughs
  4. Relieved
    After I was sexually assaulted freshman year I truly didn't expect to graduate on time. There were so many moments when I wanted to give up but didn't. At the same time I probably should have taken some time off to process and heal and would have enjoyed the rest of college a lot more if I did but hindsights a bitch that way.
    The world is my oyster! I know how to make money as needed, I'm intelligent, have many marketable skills and for the first time in a long time I feel free. I can go seek whatever. I can relax and be idle. I can start an etsy store. I can start singing again. Or I can do none of that. ITS AMAZING