BEST WAYS TO SPEND A NIGHT ALONE

  1. Cycle through beer, wine, and bourbon. By then you likely will have bootie-called someone and then you can close the night down with a win.
  2. That's why they make porn and vibrators?
  3. Seinfeld gets better every time.
  4. Fact: Your fridge needs to be cleaned out. This reminds you how you've always wanted to learn to make croissants from scratch.
  5. Your married friends with kids are home. After bedtime there is a 67% chance they will pick up the phone.
  6. No shirt, no shoes, no problem.
  7. You can finally learn how to nae nae.
  8. Men, they come, they go. But mark twain and jack London will be there for forever.
  9. There are hundreds of dollars to be spent at Amazon.
  10. Rejoice in it. Independence is a gift, not to be wasted.