WAYS I PRETEND TO BE A NEW YORKER WHEN I GO TO NEW YORK THAT EVENTUALLY BECOME PROBLEMATIC FOR ME

100% truth
  1. 1.
    Bring my sundance festival waterbottle to donation based yoga
    In hopes of seeing someone else who has it and talking to them about the 2 premiers I saw this year
  2. 2.
    Wear long jackets??
    They are always too hot/ cold
  3. 3.
    Pull out sketch book on subway
    Bumpy as hell
  4. 4.
    Buy things that normal people would to like live and stuff
    Dip into savings account buying a grapefruit
  5. 5.
    Call airport cab service number
    Immediately get connected to singles phone chat
  6. 6.
    Get drunk enough that I can just walk past the bouncer at a concert in Brooklyn
    Lose my phone at "teen suicide" show
  7. 7.
    Try to use the subway system in brooklyn
    Too many turns
  8. 8.
    Go to Chinatown to buy 2$ dumplings
    the 5.50 subway fare to get there is highly discouraging and basically you should have bought a 7$ juice with that!!!