THE PLANETS, RANKED
- •EarthI can easily live on you without my body disintegrating, incinerating, or crystallizing.
- •SaturnYou sexy piece of ass.
- •UranusI cannot confidently speak your name.
- •JupiterYou're like a highly attractive Java Chip Frappuccino.
- •VenusYou are the only girl planet and sweet dignity are you HOT.
- •NeptuneYou are so shy. Venus doesn't even know you exist.
- •MarsCliché af, you were almost forgotten on this list.
- •MercuryGet the hell out of retrograde, son.