things that don't happen at your job

  1. TWO private diarrhea planet shows (with free booze)
  2. Game of Thrones SXSW exhibit is across the street
  3. Your boss's boss's wife makes dope ass Kanye cookies 🍪
  4. A department planned and came through with a day where no one could fix or apply product to their hair.
  5. You see your company's sticker on a drive thru display
  6. Your boss's boss just ran his 190th marathon
  7. Bad jokes run amuck in your team chat room
  8. You can get yummy food delivered curbside in less than 5 minutes
  9. Your boss drops t-swift bombs
  10. Free lunch every Wednesday and last day of the month
  11. When gay marriage is legalized, half of your company walks down to a bar on 4th to celebrate
  12. Free downtown parking
  13. Official company mouse pads
  14. Guests check in on an iPad, and a visitor name sticker is printed, and the employee you're visiting gets a text that you've arrived. Aka no receptionist!
  15. A kitchen stocked with more free food and drinks and snacks than you could eat in a month