Cutting it down to only five is pretty hard but here's what I got.
  1. "Now or never"
  2. "Do you want a poo poo?"
    When he's offering you a piece of meat that he's cutting
  3. "You're not going anywhere until you pick up the dog poop"
  4. "Dinner is ready!"
    Never actually ready for at least five more minutes
  5. Steve: "Do you want something to drink?" Me: "Yeah sure" Steve: "alright get it yourself"