THINGS I OFFER THE HANGOVER GODS FOR THEM TO BESTOW MERCY ON ME

  1. Coconut water
  2. Pedialyte
  3. Protein bars
  4. Gatorade
  5. Leftover pizza
  6. My liver
  7. My dog
  8. Any/All my earthly possessions
  9. Random children I see on the street
  10. Virgin sacrifices
  11. My 401k
  12. Lambs